Itching to pen the next best seller? It’s easy if you know how...

The druggy novel:
Still in big demand among the literary underground. Does well on the best seller lists too.

Want to write one yourself?
Include at least five references to Class A drugs within the first ten pages – remember it’s got to be gruesome and grungy.

Further reading you can from
Naked lunch William Burroughs; Ecstasy, Irvine Welsh.

The Sexy novel:
Nothing creates a better literary frission than perversion, real or imaginary.Set in France preferably in a dungeon for eroticism. Refer to S&M, cars and wounds. Bribe a reviewer to call it a cult classic The Story of the Eye, Georges Bataille; Crash, JG Ballard

The rock’n’roll novel
All those dark disturbing tales are bound to do well. Plus sadistic fans are guaranteed buyers. Get down and dirty with wild groupies crap venues and bad drugs. The Dark stuff Nick Kent; High fidelity Nick Hornby.

The generation –defining novel
Has a cool cover (preferably in silver) and lots of name –dropping potential   Refer to designer durables and characters (druggy under 25) with good hair who have an acute/ cute way with words  Catcher in the Ray, J D Slinger; Generation X, Douglas Coupland

The angst-ridden read
Suicide attempts are de rigeur, don’t you know? They make you feel so much better.You must be full of misery have a passionate soul, been in and out of therapy Marriage to a poet optional The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath; Prozac Nation Elizabeth Wurtzel

The travel memoir
The perils of mass tourism, the soul of undiscovered tribes... Get the gist? Go on an extended holiday. Have big thoughts about loneliness. Drink a lot Come home and write about it  On the Rode Jack Kerouac; The Beach Alex Garland .